My Ducks Are All Lined Up: Inspired by "The Intern"

Ducks all lined up, at nearby walking pond

Freud said, “Love and work, work and love. That’s all there is.” Well, I am retired. As you can imagine, that’s given me some time on my hands. Fortunately, I do have love in my life. My husband of 46 years continues to work, in the state we moved to 3 years ago. The good thing is, he feels fulfilled. The challenge is, we are a brutal 16-hour drive away from everybody and everything familiar. 

And retirement? That is an ongoing, relentless effort in creativity. At first, I admit I enjoyed the novelty of it. It sort of felt like I was playing hooky. I used my time researching family history, talking with my sisters a lot. I organized our new home and started a garden. My husband began working from home full-time because COVID hit. I believe that in a way COVID saved me. The echo in our home disappeared because another living, breathing human was present! Now I have a double-whammy problem… I’ve finished all of my projects and every day is the same. And (because COVID is under control) my husband will be working back at the office, three long 11-hour days a week (ugh). 

I realize the key to this whole deal is to keep moving. Get up, get out of the house. Go somewhere. Anywhere. Hour-long walks are good. Walks start anywhere between 9 a.m. to 11 a.m., depending on weather. I can’t explain it, but walking makes me feel better. Like I’m connected to the world and to activity. Problem is my aching feet finally said let up a little. Walk less, so I walk less. How do I spend the rest of my day? You name it. Journaling, blogging, writing short stories for our Grands, the library, the thrift store, puzzles, Wordle, Bible study, Little House on the Prairie binge-watches. I do a variety of things. 

The main travel I do these days is to see our daughter and her family and or our son's family. Our three grands are great. I love them to pieces. But to be honest, I think I have probably overstayed my welcome and relied on them more than I should. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not an unhappy person. Quite the contrary. Maybe I ask for too much from retirement, but it feels like all my ducks are lined up neatly in a row and there is a hole in my life. I want to fill it. Someway. Somehow. Soon.